Office Politics

Yesterday, my dear mother shared with me about her clash with a collegue like 2 days ago. I was shocked as she was, how an unfiltered sentence can cause immediate rage in someone whom she thought was close to her and wouldn't take it to heart.

It was just a question my mom asked, inquiring why is the collegue getting awarded and not another teacher. And the collegue just lost it.

So I listened to my mom pouring her heart to me. And so I prayed for her to God. And I believe this is what God wants her to do.

"A gentle answer turns away wrath" so the bible goes.
Say I'm my mom. I'd write a letter to the collegue explaining what really went through my mind when I asked her that question and my true intent and how taken aback I was on the collegue's response. I'd say I'm really sorry for my direct and harsh approach which might really have hurted the collegue. I didn't mean it and I am sorry. I really cherish this friendship and hope the collegue will forgive me.
The letter could be short but every word must be honest. I'd prefer writing it to show my sincerity. Whether the collegue accept my apology or not, at least I told the collegue everything that happened and gave my confession. When I look back, I know I have done everything I could to save our friendship and my conscience is clear plus I think I did what Jesus would have done.

I learnt a line from "The Good Wife" when Alicia Florrick wants to make up with Kalinda.
She said to Kalinda, "I don't think things could go back to the way they were before, but I could try. But I can't be the only one forthcoming, everything has to be on the table. Can you do that?"
It takes two hands to clap. But things you sow now, may reap a harvest in the future only God can see.

 I hope we could do things the way Jesus did and is still doing. He washed the feet of his sinful disciples. He died for us when we are still sinning against Him to save the relationship between God and man. For us.


Where I Belong- Building 429

Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing but am I alive
I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

"For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."
-Mother Teresa.

:') Smiles darlings.

happy ^^

am very happy today. Thank God He is good and His love endures forever. <3

Awakened

I got 49% for chemistry, 59% for maths, 51% for PA, and 93% for biology last trial exam, praise God.
I told my former teacher(who believes Form 6 isn't really that hard) about my results, and she said,

"To be honest, that is quite some distance from getting As."

Of course, I agreed but I was suddenly awakened from my complacency.

I was quite obsessed with me topping almost all the subjects in the science stream( its like only about 20 students hahaha) though I tried to be modest.
Then, I realized the fact that I got mostly Bs and Cs is more important than the outwardly "2nd position".

Thanks to God, and thanks to my honest teacher, I am quite driven to study again. XD

please help me to glorify you in my studies Lord!

Hey, You knew

Today, we were talking in class and a guy classmate pass a comment as a joke. He said people wont wanna drug me because they still have eyes. I know its a joke but it still hurt. I guess when some belief in you is still fragile, it will just shake so shakily when someone touched it. If you know what I mean.

After school, I chatted with my mom and I remember something the speaker said in his sermon yesterday, so I asked my mom. So she said, Karen Carpenter was a great singer but when someone said she was fat, she started not eating or eating just a bit. Eventually, she died of hunger.

And just now, the message from "God wants you to know" apps for me is this:

"Today, Faye, we believe God wants you to know that ...

you are beautiful.

Mirrors are fickle, a play of light and shadow. The only true mirror is within yourself. Clear your mind of doubt and prejudice, and you will see yourself as God sees you - beautiful."

 

If God isn't speaking to me, then I don't know what's that.

Never let anyone tear you down with one careless word.

God thinks you are precious, beautiful, no matter what others think.

He loves you.

 

My whole life
I place in your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at your throne

I called you answered
And you came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where you are

-"Came To my Rescue" Hillsongs

 

What God can do through songs

I felt so refreshed after listening to Glorious Ruins by Hillsong. Feel that I have the strength and zeal to study again..

I'll walk through the fire
With my head lifted high
And my spirit revived in Your story
And I'll look to the cross
As my failure is lost
In the light of Your glorious grace

Let the ruins come to life
In the beauty of Your Name
Rising up from the ashes
God forever You reign

And my soul will find refuge
In the shadow of Your wings
I will love You forever
And forever I'll sing

Pretty Day

Its a pretty day today. Thank God tomorrow is a holiday. It's baptism tomorrow with church members. I pray everything will go well Lord, the weather and people and all. :)Thanks.

Really

Really, I can't make people feel at ease around me if I am not at ease with myself.
I can't love if I don't believe God loves me that much that He had the best for me.
And I can't say people are beautiful unless I think God thinks me that way too.

I am So Blest!

God is so so so gracious to me. It never really comes to your mind until you count your blessings really.

Though I may not be as pretty as other girls, but God made me this tall (which is pretty unique), and complete and beautiful in His eyes! And I really thank God so much that He gave me a loving family who loves Him! It means so much as when we grow up we experience the effort by our parents to put God first and it just feel so pure and safe and irreplaceable though we do often fail. Sometimes I think having a rich family will really be great but without the God-centeredness, something will just be lacking. God also granted me wisdom and smartness of which I am a steward, to study and do well in examinations, and I truly had experienced Him in exams too! and today daddy brought back a box of elegant, beautifully designed chocolates or eclairs which is a complimentary gift from a hotel. and I love chocolates!!!
Next, God gave us really warm, encouraging and helpful church members who are so close to us, they are like our family here already. Plus the funny and nice friends I have in Form 6 to make me laugh when the tough gets going in class. And such a wonderful popo who help around so much in our house that I really feel ashamed sometimes. and the list goes on.....

It such a beautiful and awesome combination of blessings God poured into my lap over the years. I couldn't believe that I am so moody and down at times. O God, You are great, Your name is great and help me never stop falling in love with You, even if You give and take away the amazing things you put into my life. You are the source of love, joy, peace, kindness and everything good, please overwhelm and overflow my inmost being with them and most of all You, that I will experience the sweetest joy of just being with You. May I let all this beautiful things You put into my life just tumble over to others around me that they will too be delighted in You Lord. Please help me and teach me to be willing to let things go when its Your desire for me to do so. Help me love you more than just for the sake of the blessings. Thank you for giving your precious life for me on Calvary, I know You were willing to suffer the pain and scorn the shame for the eternal glory and love for us. Thank you Jesus, I praise you God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, in Jesus' mighty name I pray, Amen.