Easy

No one said it will be easy. But no one said it will be this hard.

Two words broke my heart-- "FINAL EPISODE"

Honestly, it had been such a good ride. The drama was funny, though boring at some times, I nearly cried and laughed a lot. <THE  Producers> thank you God for letting me watch this on KBS, it has been my highlight for a few weeks (its only 12 Episodes), especially kept me going when I felt real unhappy about teaching..

It got me interested in a poem, I believe, the most interested I had been in my life? Haha
It's called "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. It was recited in Korean in the drama. Deep.

The epilogue touched me. I clumsily re-typed some:

"I don't know when would this show end, today or tomorrow. That nervous feeling makes me afraid, I think of it every night. I would just try my best today, if its too much for me, I would turn back. It's the same for tomorrow, I would try hard, if I cant take it, I would run away. By living in the present like this, the season pass so quickly, you don't realise it. For some, hate turns to love, for others, they reconsider their present state and work hard to protect what they have been holding onto, or some, they start a new beginning. One season passes, I try not to forget the beginning. It feels like its so long ago, my beginning here. Then, self-esteem was unreachable to me, yet I hung on in order to reach this day. Now, I am in danger of losing myself. That's why I try not to forget how I started. I also try not to forget, it was because of her, that in this season I was so happy."

I had started teaching in a high school. I didn't enjoy it that much. All I could think of was how to control these kids. But I felt, after watching this, maybe I need to get back that blur  but beautiful, safe anticipation and vision of the world through a student's eyes. It was pretty narrow a vision and I'm not certain at all it will make teaching easier for me or more enjoyable. But, that was a beginning for me. My beginning. And I don't want to forget that.

I asked God some about this when I started watching. I was afraid I'd be addicted and displease Him. He just told me, it's just a drama, so take it as it is. I think, He didn't want me to get to engrossed that it becomes a vital part of my life, that when it ends, as all good movies do, I get disorientated and lost emotionally. 

Now, the drama ended. All I feel is contentment from watching a very nice and philosophical drama. And I think I did it, I did what He wanted. I'm so thankful for that reminder.

I was always unsure of what He thinks. But I would muster up my faith to believe He's happy with me. Right now. 

The Road Not Taken-Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;